Izzat Zulhilmi

It's a new year

2010-01-09T08:27:00.000-08:00

So it's january again people, what an exciting month it is for us all. As many wish this new year will better then the previous one. Oh well, goodbye 2009 & welcome 2010. Hooray. I'll be taking SPM this year which means this is my senior year at high school. Oh well so far nothing much happening at school besides me trying my level best to double my effort in my studies these days. No pain no game right? However a huge part of me still havent left 2009 yet,a part of me is still living there and what's more terrible then to be stuck in the past right? Hmmmmmmp, a lot of bitter & sweet memories that I've made during the one year period. Many which has created the person I am today. Hope this year will be better. Wish me luck guys as I will do the same.

Hello 2010.

2009-12-11T09:40:00.000-08:00

Hello, nothing much to write about actually, hehe. Im just making the most out of my current free time. As a matter of fact, I have a very huge amount of free time on my hands these days, since the school holidays started of course.Hmmmp oh well, what more to do right for us school kids in these one and a half month school holiday other than staying in at home or just go out regularly with family & friends. However for the fortunate ones, their parents will be taking em' for vacation and that leaves the rest of us here staying at home bored of our little mind. Hmmmp, oh yeah Im quite excited and yet a bit scared actually about next year. Oh what a big year it is for those born in 1993. It's our final year in school & yes SPM cannot be avoided anymore. Like it or not, we fellow malaysians have to take it to ensure our near future. Well I might say that Im a bit driven next year, haha I hope so. Im determine to get better grades than before, achieve things I havent before and the most important part is, just have fun while Im at it. : )

Hello 2010.

Conclusion.

2009-11-27T10:30:00.001-08:00

Maybe going both ways is not such a bad idea after all? I think. Oh yeah and i think it's over between us.

Anxious.

2009-11-21T00:25:00.000-08:00

Hey, I have been accidently infected with an eye infection from whom I do not know. Hmmmp, well all I can say about it is it hurts like hell in the early stages. I couldnt open both my eyes the first and the second day. Which was on last monday & tuesday. Pfffff, what a great way for me to start of my first week of school holidays right? Hmmp. Well the bad news doesnt stop there, my brother Iqmal who is currently taking his SPM was also infected. It was a severe plague that landed on my family & it came out of nowhere. Well I guess this is what people call, the unfortunate times in life. He, my brother of course has no other choice but to wear sunglasses and was forced to take his SPM paper in a seperate room from all the other SPM candidates. What a sad way to start SPM right? Well hopefully he'll recover soon. Well as for me the bad news stops there, I think. After approximately 6 days of being quarantined in my house, my eye is finally getting better. Hopefully it will come around in these few couple days. As I am superrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr frustrated of not being able to go out & have fun with my friends due to this very dangerous illness. Hmmp, I guess I kinda missed out on practicly all of the fun activities stored for me by my friends. Oh well what to do right? We cant fight fate, we can only go along with it. Im wishing for my future days in this holiday season to be better than what I've experienced so far. :) That is a wish Im dying for it to come true & I'll try my level best in making em' come true. **Sigh

It's been a while. ____-

2009-10-16T07:44:00.000-07:00

Hey, it's been a while since i last updated my blog. Well i guess you can say i actually dont have good enough materials that can be written in this blog. Loads to share but with so little effort to express. Lately I have been having mood swings. I dont actually know what I want in life right now. Everything seems so blurry to me & I have been having vivid memory about the past. This is one of the important reason that is contributing to my mood swings right now. Not knowing for sure what you want to do with your life at the moment can take a huge toll in a man's life. Longing for continuous companionship, living in a huge closet mostly because of man's number one fear which is the fear of knowing the truth. About yourself, about others & most importantly about the world. Haihhh, I am 100% sure you will not be able to figure out what Im blabbing about here in this blog. I cant seem to figure it out myself. Hmmmmmp. Im so confused. Sometimes what you did before in your past sometimes just come back to haunt you. One at a time. Each becoming a ghost in your life. A spirit in your body. An influence to whom you are becoming.People always say we cannot correct the wrong doings of our past, all we can do is just to look forward,move on & change for the better.But what if the past will not allow you to do all those things. The sense of regret just keep on consuming you each day. And all you can think of is how stupid you were back then.All those foolish actions influenced by none other than the devil himself. Hmmmp. I wish I can turn back the time and do it all over again, the right way of course.

Woo.

2009-09-10T08:50:00.000-07:00

I think i might like you dear. Im just currently waiting for the right time. :) I am not a man who rushes into things, hee. Btw everything I thought of you before is clearly making sense each day.

You're just not worth it

2009-08-27T09:55:00.000-07:00

Finally, I've realised that you are not the person whom I thought you to be lah jaz. It was just a mirror or a wall that you created that led me into falling for you but not anymore honey. haha. Now, especially after that night you have let loose your true-self & now I have learned who you really are. Thanks & sorry for everything. I have now completely let loose of all my emotions from you. You are just not worth it. Hope you will find your mr right soon. :) I pray all the best for you.

Buya.

2009-07-23T07:24:00.000-07:00

I miss you so much, that's all I can say. Hmmp, missing you soooooooo much Buya. Wish you were still here to see all five of us grow up. Hmmmmmp,what can we do, we cant fight destinty right? ...............

Finally

2009-07-23T00:42:00.000-07:00

Thank you lord above, I have finally learnt to stop missing you. I have learnt to accept the fact & face the reality that you are nothing more than a memory from my past & it's finally time to move on. No purpose for me to continue to have feelings for you anymore. :( I have moved on....

Time doesnt always make everything better.

2009-07-09T07:24:00.000-07:00

It's been three months 2 weeks since you left. Yet I still longing for your company, no matter what I do & how hard I try nothing seems to make at least an effort to try and erase you from my memories. I have been longing for you even more and more as time passes by. You might not even remember what we had but to me it's still a very fresh chapter of my life with you to share. Even if it was a short chapter of mine, but it was definitely as I've once said one of the most memorable one. Oh how i pray to the lord above, to allow me to forget you entirely without even giving me a glimnce of curiousity of your well being. Hmmmp. I still have very strong feelings for you sayang & missing you as always.

:(

2009-07-08T03:17:00.000-07:00

There's a big difference between interfering in someone's life & looking out for their best interest'.
Im trying my level best to look out for my friend's interest instead off stabbing him by the back. As I know he would do the same for me. Enough said, I dont need a thousand word to express my emotions. It can all be fit in one simple but yet meaningful sentence. Oh yeah, there's a malay say which if im not mistaken goes like this "orang yang kata dia yang lebih" and fyi, I am no where being near in looking out for your best interest or how you live your life. That is nowhere in my concern cicle as my priority are for my friends. Sorry I apologize if my behaviour has bring out your worse rage out of you. But I am not being a total know it all, Im just judging and giving out my opinions based on the fact that I see in my everyday life. Im sure you would do the same if your precious one is in his condition.

Comeback

2009-07-03T08:47:00.000-07:00

Hello. I know it's been a while since i last updated my blog. Well Im not exactly a big fan of writing down every single thing that happened in my life. From that, Im sure you can already guess that I dont have any diary of my own. I consider this blog as my personal 20th century diary, i guess. hehe. Okay enough crapping, recently there have not been a lot of exciting stuft happened to me except the part where offcially this day, fee has finally joined my class, 4 Gigih. He shifted class from 4 Harapan as he is very much interested in the subjects that are offered in my class instead of he's. Well guess you can say that the whole gang is in my class. Well not all actually, some of them are in the class beside me 4 Erat. It seems that the second part of this year has been going very well for me compared to the first 6 months. Haihh, oh well fee im very happy that you have finally able to be in the same class as me again. hehe. So for now, everything's quite okay from my personal life and my school life. :)
Hope it will stay like that for a while. Oh i forgot to mention that yesterday which is 3/July was my mom's birthday. No need i think to mention her age out loud, hehe. Happy birthday Umi!

Should you not.

2009-06-23T08:20:00.000-07:00

We can only advice those who we care for, cannot stop or judge em' but only advice. However my biggest fear lay right ahead of you my dearest friend, you might get too caught up in something that you might cant escape anymore after this. As if you proceed, you are alone in the battle field with noone else to help you but your fellow new peers. If that's what you want, I guess noone can stop you because you are mature enough to distinguished between right and wrong. So be it. But yet Im reminding you, the world is always revolving and so is our life spend. At times we are at the top and at times we're at the bottom. Dont expect me to be there for you like old times when you are in your weakest hour as once you've proceed with it, our friendship will change & that I can assure. Only destiny can tell when,where or why it will happen. But you can always count on me to be there by your side every step of the way, no doubt. :( hmmp.

_______________________

2009-05-30T09:29:00.000-07:00

"Blake Lewis-Without You"

Girl you could explain for a thousand days
But I'll never work out why we're throwing it all away
You say you're still in love, you just need more space
I don't have the strength to leave you but I don't wanna wait

I'm not trying to bring you down
I'm only calling you because
I thought you should know

[Chorus]
I can't get used to life without you
Close my eyes, see your face
And nothing seems to ease the pain
And I just can't get through these nights without you
Close my eyes, see your face
I only have myself to blame

Girl lying alone I feel out of place
It's all that I can do to get up and turn the page
Every spin of the hands is a thousand days
The things I left unsaid, pushed you so far away

I'm not trying to bring you down
I'm only calling you because
I thought you should know

[Chorus]

I can't wait, there's no more time
I'm getting lost inside my mind
And it's easy to see that I
Let you slip right through my hands
I can't believe that it's over
I wanna open my eyes and see you here

Can't get used to life without you
Close my eyes, see your face
I'll only have myself to blame

Can't get used to life without you
Close my eyes, see your face
And nothing seems to ease the pain
And I just can't get through these nights without you
Close my eyes, see your face
I only have myself to blame

You're all I need to survive
You're all I need to get by
You're all I need to survive
You're all I need to get by

Kawan

2009-05-15T08:12:00.000-07:00

For quite some time in my life, i have always believe of this above image's contect. The whole bestfriend thing and all. However, reality is not always the same as what you see in a post card, or fantasy where everything goes according to plan. Sometimes we do not expect the unexpected, even the unfortunate because many always wanting for the best in life. Friends can turn into enemies, lovers can turn into haters, enemy can turn suprisingly turn out to be your bestest friend :)
There's no particular reason of why i posted this blog, I just simply feel like doing it. The content of this blog has no specification towards anyone okay.

It's just sometimes when a person posseses the most powerful thing in life, which is to be in a loving relationship with someone, to hold, to care,to protect & to accompany their partner, everything else seems less important. However, that is not a reason for you to neglect your friends as they are the ones who will have your back in your darkest hours, who will comfort you in your gloomiest chapter in life. We live as humans, we have to be able to balance our way of life & respect other people. Dont take them for granted just because you think you have something that is very precious & long lasting. As a friend's relationship can be precious & longlasting too if you know how to maintain and make full use of it instead of just finding it when you are in your weekest hour (:

Exam week, haihh

2009-05-14T04:39:00.000-07:00

Hello, this week is the mid year exam week for my school & some other schools that are in the KL area. Haihh, stressful of course, challenging ? Absolutely. Exciting? However I find this quite true. I dont know about the others, but I find this current exam very very exciting. This is because, I get to test my limits, improve my flaws and maintain my advantages. Oh well, it's still early to be telling how im gonna do for this one. But hopefull I will have a lease number of failed subjects than my previous test. :) I'll try my best & wish all of my fellow friends, doesnt matter which school you are in the best of luck and "break a leg" yeahhh. haha

Changing lane.

2009-05-12T02:08:00.000-07:00

Oh today which is the 12th May is the mid year exam for most form 4 & 5 students in Kuala Lumpur, my school was not excluded. As many might know, I was facing many hectic dificulties for these past few days. *read the previous blog*. But no harm was done, we were able to celebrate mother's day succesfully. I and my other siblings threw a suprise bbq party for our mother, she was estatic to find out about it because it was absolutely unexpected of us to do so. But the there is still some waves in the calm sea, that is because my asma attack came back during the party. I was rushed to the nearby clinic after finish eating. My eldest brother took me there, I was given the ventolin gas to make my heart beats normally again. Alhamdulilah, nothing serious happened there. We wouldnt want two brothers going in and out of the ICU right? Having one is bad enough

What a day.

2009-05-07T07:59:00.000-07:00

I skipped school today due to substential amount of "pendidikan seni" work. I woke up early in the morning today which very unusual for me that is except for school days of course. So i started sketching from 11 till early afternoon. My brother Iqmal, was in and still in a bad condition that is of course because of he's never ending high fever. At first everyone thought of it to be a normal fever that can be cure by eating normal medication without consulting a doctor. But today early this morning, when I was watching "American Idol" he went down from the stairs and came up to me, then he suddenly fainted. Luckyly I was there to catch him from hitting any blunt objects that was around. After he colapsed to the floor, he started to have "sawan" which is very strange since he never caught that disease since he was a small boy. So then me & my sister rushed him to the hospital to avoid any unfortunate things to occur. He was admitted at the ICU and was direct by the medical officers to stay overnight there so that they can run some tests & observe his condition to make sure that he is in he's full health before returning home. So there it was, from skipping school to doing my "kerja kursus seni" to my brother getting admitted to hospital. I guess that explains a lot about the title of this blog post right? Hmmm. Oh well, i pray for my brother's well being and may he return home as soon as possible. :) hmmmmp. Again it has been a roller coaster ride for me today, my adrenaline was pumping like hell today. Hmmp you gave me a big fright there big brother, haihh. Dont you ever do that again.

Anyways, i still havent completed 100% my "kerja kursus seni" however i did manage to complete 80% of it. So i think that's a pretty big accomplishment, even for my standards. Oh well, hopefull Puan Norliza will be satisfied enough with my work as I put 110% of my heart & soul to it. Well guess we'll just have to see how tomorrow will be yeah? May everything will be brighter than today. Guess that's all for today.

Terase & terkejut

2009-05-04T08:18:00.000-07:00

It was a big shock for me when you said those things though we have been friends for quite some time, it may not be the longest period but is was definitely the most memorable one. I adore our friendship as i thought of you to be the most understanding & open minded with me among us all however you simply erase all the positive things i have towards you and turned it into blue. You threw our friendship away just like that, the saddest part is that it is just a small matter that can be reconcile easily without any harsh words or actions been used. However, I will not tolerate your inmature behaviour as i will fight back to defend my honour. It is what is then, you can never take back the things you have spit out, as that is what you have done to our friendship. :) Irreparable perhaps? But the smallest hope cannot be neglected as I once heard before "there's always a smallest light in the darkest room".

In the other hand, other things seems to be going well, except i am still having high hopes for you my dear :(

Unnecessarylah.

2009-04-30T05:04:00.000-07:00

Today was the big day that i was talking about yesterday, it is the photo-session day and thank god my prayers have been answered by the lord above. Sivik tak ade. haha. Yeay! Anyways it was really fun during the photoshoot, i think that the people in my class this year is very fun,cheerful & spontaneous. All i can say that it is a very cool day today. Anyways there's this one thing that i dont partially favour on this day. That is of course that happened in my class a few hours before the amazing photoshoot. Seriously, i think if anyone would have seen the way that someone acted in my class, it was absolutely horrendous. Even the people that i expected to the most kind hearted person said that her behaviour was a big no no. Haihhh, again very very unnesessary. In the other hand, me and one of my closest friend was a bit irritated with the way the other "person" acted. That person called us something that i think was very unappropiate & rude right in front of our face. At first we think that is was a joke and like always we played along with her. But sooner and later it became very serious and there was no smirked in "***** face" when she said that thing. We was so offended until we didnt hang out at that particular class. Who do you think you are to be commenting like that on things that you dont even no for sure is true? Again through time & your harsh words and also action you are the one who is making our friendship become more distant than ever. Hmmp, I mean no harm towards other and if there is any missunderstanding, please just clear it out with me. Dont be acting like an asshole because im certaint that anyone would not like it when people is giving em' attitude right? :(

Hari esok.

2009-04-29T08:15:00.000-07:00

Tomorrow is the big day, big day ? Yeah tomorrow my school will be helding a photo session for all the class according to their forms & class. Im a bit excited because for the first time in this 3++ years i have been in high school, im actually going to be possing as a normal student. Usually in my past years i was always the class monitor but not for this year. You know what they say sometimes a little change in your daily life routine is good for you. But hmmmp, this may sound weird but i somehow miss those old times when i was the class monitor. For the most reasons are i can be right in front and sitting beside the the teacher during the photoshoot. Haha, as some of you may know i am bit vain and love to be in the centre of the everything right? haha. Oh well i guess good changes goes along with great sacrifices also.hee. Anyways, i am happy with there i am now. No regrets, i think?

But god tomorrow which is thursday is one of my most not looking forward day of school because got sivik. Damn, it's not the subject that i hate. It's the teacher who name cannot be mentioned due to safety reasons. Who knows we dont want the internet history to repeat right? **those who remember what happened during our form 2 year, you know what happened right?***. haha. The teacher will make those who havent completed the work sit in front of the class corridor and finish our homework. That is very very embarassing and i am certaintly sure that noone would want to be in that position right? So we'll see how everything goes tomorrow. Hopefully the photoshoot session will go on during 'Sivik'. If that happens, it will make everyone's life that is in my class of course a lot and i mean a lot better. haha : ) Peace. Oh well, hopefully my dreams & wishes for tomorrow will be granted by the lord above.

Hello people.

2009-04-28T08:04:00.000-07:00

Hye anybody who's visiting my blogspot page. Izzat here. Im new here, just made this blogspot a few hours ago. This blogspot was made due to my curiousity towards it for ages now and it looks interesting from what i have seen through a number of my friends's one. As you can see nothing is posted yet in my blogspot, have no fear yeah? Why dont you guys visit my page in a few days or weeks maybe & you might even find something interesting to read maybe? Peace out :)